Memoirs Of A Gay Son : Chapter 1 The Early Years Page 2

Book Cover

Memoirs Of A Gay Son

Chapter 1 The Early Years

Page 2

Steven Gerard

My dad took us out of the car and had us sit at the table.  He went over to the car and opened the door for the woman.  She walked over to us and introduced herself as Diana.  From that moment on, I felt an instant connection to her.  I knew in my heart that I had found a really good friend. After we were done eating, my dad took the other boys down to the creek to talk; they were a little shyer.  So, Diana and I went up near the little waterfall.  As we waded through the water talking, splashing and just having an overall great time, we hear blood curdling screams coming from my father’s and brother’s direction.  We look over and see them running out of the water screaming, “SNAKE!” When Diana and I got over there to see what the matter was, we saw the snake they were running from.  It was about 2 foot long and as big around as a pencil.  We laughed so hard all the way back to the car. This is my first memory of Diana.  As everyone will come to find out she is a very important part of my life and played a major role in shaping who I am as a person. I think this fact always bothered my mother, but I wish she wouldn’t take it so personal.  My mom, in the early stages of my childhood, was a single mother.  She had to work tow and even sometimes three jobs just to make sure everything stayed afloat. Not only that, but both my brothers are special needs.  They both have been diagnosed with neurological disorders that delayed some social interaction. Sure my mom would hire babysitters, but in the early and mid-90’s not many babysitters where educated on how to watch special needs children.  At a very young age, I started taking on a lot of responsibility when I was with my mother. When we were at my dad’s, there was always an adult home.  This gave me the opportunity to be a kid and not have to worry so much about responsibility.  That is exactly what I needed.  I needed to have fun and be a kid. Now, it wasn’t my mother’s fault that I was lacking that when we stayed with her.  She was doing the best she could to raise her family.  When I was younger, I use to blame her for that.  I would just like to take the time and say that I am truly sorry for blaming her for our chaotic life.  Looking back now, I know that it wasn’t her fault.  But I go off tangent. My next memory is a few months later.  Dad took us to go meet Diana’s parents.  At the time, Erma, Diana’s mother, had her pizza shop.  Erma was a very unique character.  She is around five foot tall and has a very deep trucker’s voice.  She had a mouth at times that would match a trucker as well.  The loving nick names she gave me were Little Snot, which developed into Little Shit, which eventually became Little Fucker. I remember making a Pepperoni Pizza with her that day.  I had never met anybody as bold as her before, but I felt nothing but unconditional love from Erma.

Page 1 ♥ To Be Continued…….

Memoirs Of A Gay Son :Chapter 1 The Early Years Page 1

Book Cover

 

Memoirs Of A Gay Son : Chapter 1 The Early Years

Page 1

Steven Gerard

Let me start you off by giving you a little background.  My name is Steven Gerard.  I was born on June 19th, 1989 at Ellwood City Hospital in Elwood City, Pennsylvania.  I was born the youngest of three boys.

At an extremely young age, I was still an infant, my parents got divorced.  In this book I feel the reasoning is not important, plus I was too young to give you an honest viewpoint on the story.  My mother always use to say that “we wish the two of them got back together”, but as I tried to tell her, How can I miss what I don’t remember?

That was the whole thing with me.  Maybe some children from broken homes look at other families and see them as “normal” and envied what they had.  I never went through any of that.  For that matter, I never viewed my family as broken, I just viewed is as expandable.

The memories for the first couple years of life are very vague and obscure.  I remember every morning before preschool; I would pick a fresh peace of Rhubarb to pack in my lunch every day.  On the way to preschool every morning, my mother would stop by Dunkin’ Donuts every morning and pick whatever I wanted off the menu.  My choice was always the same.  I would get a cinnamon roll and chocolate milk.

I also remember, in the trailer, we had a hide-a-bed couch in the living room and every Friday night we would pull out the bed and had family movie night.  Mom would make popcorn and we would all spend the night out in the living room watching movies.  This was the first sense that I got from my mother of how she felt about her family.  Family was and forever will be extremely important to her.

I also have one other very distinct memory from living in that trailer.  I must have been around three years old and I was lying on the kitchen floor, eating canned pasta rings, looking through my Where’s Waldo book while my mother stood at the kitchen sink washing the dishes.  I remember I spilled some in my book and I got upset and started to pout.   My mother came over to see what the matter was.  She cleaned off the page and happens to take a look with me.  On this page, the scene was a museum with all the different statues of the Greek gods.  There was also a statue on the page marked “The Unknown God”.  She then pointed out to me that that particular statue responded the one true Christian God, and all the others were false gods and should not be worshiped.

This memory is very important to me.  It shows me, at a very young age might I add, my mother’s strength and dedication to her religion and beliefs.  I love my mother to death, but our personal belief systems do not see eye to eye.  I also feel that I cannot judge her for her beliefs and expect her to respect mine.

My next memory isn’t for about a year later.  I remember it was spring and we were staying with our dad for the weekend.  He was driving us out to Brady’s Run Park in Beaver County and he told us that there was someone special he wanted us to meet.  As we pulled up to the picnic area by the creek, I saw a white Pontiac sitting there.

 

IntroductionPage 2

Memoirs Of A Gay Son : Introduction

Book Cover

 

Memoirs Of A Gay Son : Introduction

Steven Gerard

Ever since I was very young, I have had an image stuck inside of my head.  It is the inside of a house, but it is almost as if I am looking at it from the ground.  On the left hand side of the room, against the wall, there is a flight of stairs leading to the second floor.  On the left hand side of the room is the living area followed by a dining room, and a kitchen.

It wasn’t until years later, and by confirming the image with more details, did I realize that this was my first memory.  The image that I have stored inside my head is the inside of the first house I ever lived in.  That may not seem like an amazing thing for some, but the weird thing was we moved out of that house when I was nine months old.

Life is lived through experiences.  Yes, there is a certain amount of preset in our genes; however, in my opinion, what makes us who we are is what we have gone through in life.  A person’s experiences will alter who they are from personality to how they view the world and certain situations.

That is why I have decided to write this.  I would like to share my memories with the world.  I have been told that it would at least make a very unique and interesting read.  So, I have decided to put that to the test.  I want to see if people will find my life interesting.

My life hasn’t been easy, as anyone can see in this book, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.  I am not trying to sound vain but II know what it is like to hurt.  That is why I would like to dedicate book to anyone who has ever been hurt.  I hope that these stories find a way into your heart and bring you love and warmth.

I would like to personally dedicate this book to anyone that I have ever personally hurt or offended.  I am human and I am imperfect.  I never intended to be harmful to anyone.  I want you to remember that I had to grow up in my own time and in my own way, as we all do.  I do not mention that as an excuse for my past digressions, just an explanation.

I really hope that anyone who reads this can find hope in it all.  I hope everyone can find something in this book that they find relatable.  I believe that by keeping our lessons and experiences to ourselves, that we are being selfish and greedy.  So, please, sit down, relax and I hope everyone enjoys the read.

Page 1